Life Inside a Foster Home:

The Up Center Celebrates Its Decades of Dedication to Foster Care

 She was born in a jail with a mother who was a drug addict and a father who was a pimp. She says she heard that when she was four her mother took her to a babysitter and never came back. After that point, she was taken from place to place—her grandmother’s house, a group home, back to her mother’s home, foster homes. But few people would be able to guess this is how Lisa Sallie’s life unfolded.  Sallie is one of the many people who have benefited from The Up Center’s programs and overcome great odds.

“I was dealt a hand that wasn’t perfect,” Sallie said.  “But I haven’t been through anything compared to some others.”

Sallie says that she realized things could be much worse when she met a girl at the youth shelter Seton House who had been molested by multiple family members. From that time on, Sallie continued on a straight path. When her biological mother took Sallie into a crack house one day, Sallie had the strength to walk out-- by herself. When she was in high school, she was placed in a foster home by Child & Family Services of Eastern Virginia, the former name of The Up Center. Her new foster mother was Leola Brooks.

“Ms. Brooks is like my mom,” Sallie said “In high school I told everyone she was my mother. I still see her all the time.”

After living with Brooks for two years, Sallie headed to Old Dominion University. She faced some challenges moving to independence when she lost her Medicaid for health insurance, but Sallie has relied on loans and money she previously saved to get by. Brooks says Sallie has been very focused on her future.

“Lisa has been determined to go all the way. She wants to make a difference.” Brooks said.

To do this, Sallie is looking at her career possibilities. She is now heading into her senior year at ODU and has her eye on the FBI or law school.

“I am considering going into the FBI to fight drugs, and I also am looking at law school,” Sallie said. “I don’t want to say drugs ruined my life, but I do have a strong stance about them because I don’t ever want to end up like my mother or have another girl go through the same things I went through.”

Those goals and marks of success are ones that foster parents and The Up Center treasure. Since The Up Center re-started its foster care program 25 years ago, the agency’s foster care division has specialized in helping so-called “therapeutic” children get placed in loving homes. These children often have been abused or neglected and can have behavioral concerns that require much hands-on assistance from the foster parents and the agency. Sallie says she saw how dedicated The Up Center staff was in its work.

“One particular caseworker who worked at the agency I liked a lot,” Sallie said. “She came to family functions and was a big help when I was really frustrated.”

Foster parents also rely on the staff to help them handle their responsibilities. Foster parent Thelma Mitchell, who has been a foster parent with the agency for four years, says The Up Center caseworkers are like her family.

“The staff has been there for me,” Mitchell said. “Even when I’ve had to call them at home, they’ve been there.”

Such dedication is par for the course for foster and adoptive parent Sheila Owens, who has had four biological children, six adoptive children and about 30 foster children through The Up Center. Owens has experience as a mental health worker and specializes in handling tough cases. She first became a foster parent at a low point in her life.

“I was the first foster mother for Child & Family Services when it re-started its foster care program.” Owens said. “I had just lost my son and I took in a boy who had just lost his mother.”

Since then being a foster and adoptive mother has been Owens “mission.” She recently adopted two boys she says came to her with multiple problems.

“One boy came to me in Pampers and was running away and had nightmares.” Owens said. “The other has Asperger’s and was being destructive.”

Owens says she helps turn things around for these boys by being consistent and structured and by being stern but loving. Sallie also says that she thinks it’s important for foster parents to be loving, and she points out that foster children aren’t always what some people expect them to be.

“When I tell people I was a foster child, they usually say I don’t look like one,” Sallie said. “Then I ask them ‘What does a foster child look like?’ I think people expect foster children to be dirty or something, and I’ve never met a foster child like that.”

For The Up Center, foster children’s appearances over the years primarily have changed in just one regard being age.  In decades past, the agency ran a foster care program that mainly provided temporary homes for babies who were often born to single mothers and were usually adopted after a short time in foster care. 

Former foster mother and agency employee Mary Barnes is full of memories when she recalls the years from 1957 to 1983 when she took in a total of 42 children.

“I remember during my 17th wedding anniversary, I was rocking one baby in one chair and my husband was rocking another in another chair,” Barnes said. “I looked at him and said laughing that I wasn’t sure this is what we should be doing on our anniversary.”

Barnes said the babies usually stayed a few months and that she never knew where they came from or where they were going. That’s unlike today where detailed case histories, long periods in foster care and hopes of returning to the biological parents are common.

Much like today’s foster families though, Barnes’ life revolved around the many children who came into her home.

“I took the babies everywhere,” Barnes said. “When my daughter graduated from college, I took a baby with me.”

That practice prompted Barnes’ son to say a sentiment that many foster parents recognize. 

“My son told me one day, “Mom, your heart just gets bigger with each baby that comes in the home, doesn’t it,’” Barnes said. “I just loved them like my own children.”

If you are interested in becoming a foster parent to help an abused or neglected child, please call The Up Center at 757-965-8670